i opened my eyes this morning,

looking at what that seemed to be a beautiful sunday.

oh how I wished it is,

pillow wet from all the tears that came down last night,

eyes swollen from all the crying last night.

Your head hurts considering the fact that you could only get to sleep at 6am and the mental trauma that you suffered.

Oh and you wished everything was just a nightmare,

nope it ain't and yes you got rejected.

yep, i guess this is gonna be a typical emo post.

As i struggled to get on my feet and dragged myself to the computer,

I glanced at my brother's bed and realized that he went for his duty today.

Maybe it is a good thing, don't really want my brother to worry for me.

Switched on my computer, opened the curtains and laid lifeless on his bed,

staring out of the window at the two trees that stood there for the past 15 years when i moved into the current apartment.

Telling myself that i've got to be strong.

why?

I'm on my own tomorrow, time for me to serve the nation.

Yea wrong time to come and wrong time to feel like this.

I'm not really a fan of rejection, well nobody really is.

Rejetions, i've had many, no big deal.

Just.. maybe i wanted more than what you want.

You wanted just a friendship and i wanted more.

Walked out the room

mom was shock to see me awake.

She thought that i can't sleep cause i'm going to the army,

well most people do but sadly not the case for me.

Her little boy had his heart broken into pieces last night

and well maybe it is a good think she think that way.

Don't want her to worry as well.

Walked out and as i looked into the other room,

dad was lying on the bed looking out of his window.

Well, he got his problems i guess,

just like all other bosses in the world.

Dragged my lifeless body to the toilet and washed up,

skipping breakfast today i guess.

Have never felt so lifeless before in my life,

last night as i was sitting on the sofa watching tv,

well no, the tv was on but i ain't paying attention to it.

What kept racing through my mind were what you said and

i couldn't help but to wept.

Life wasn't easy for me i guess,

my family have faced through almost bankruptcy

and now considering the fact that we are financially stabled,

i can have anything i want in the world.

AND

i can't have what i need!

This just ain't fair.

Your previous love took your ability to trust.

And when you took another step into this wretched feeling called love,

you got yourself burnt again.

No doubt, you've lost the ability to love another.

No one can hear you scream.

You’ll never realize how strong you are until you have no other choice but to be strong.