out

Dear Daryl,

Or should I say dear me!?

Ok screw it, doesn't really matter.

You've always been the dark light,

the black stain that ruin the painting.

Heh, but it's alright, i don't really care.

You're just being yourself.

Take it or leave it

Always seem that the world is against you/me(us).

Heh, but you've got used to it right?

Overcoming all factors that the world hits you with.

Knowing that with each obstacle in life that we pass, we get a little stronger, a little tougher and a little better at life.

It's been some time that I've changed into a quiet person.

I can't remember when but it's just the way I've become i guess.

To adapt I guess..

I've lost faith in people,

not knowing if they real or fake.

So if I don't speak,

they won't talk to me, neither will they communicate with me.

Hence we will just be strangers living in our own world

and that's perfectly fine with me.

I don't know if it's good withdrawing myself from the world.

To me, the sky is the world,

When I have issues, no matter day or night.

I'd walk out to an open space

look to the sky and tell it.

Whatever thing you hit me with,

I'll show you who's gonna be the one standing when it ends.

Knowing that you'd fight the fight together with me,

Subconscious and me.

The world may be against you,

but I chose to accept it this way.

To embrace whatever comes.

Good or bad.

I know I've always been destructive,

you'd know it too.

You're the worm inside of me,

most importantly you are my sub conscious.

My shield, my armour against the world.

You are like the fuel for my fire,

the one that motivates me when I run.
The extra boost that tells me to not give up when I'm about to snap.

But on the other hand, you're the devil in me.
Giving me negative thoughts and ideas.

Keeping myself busy with work and work out to tire my body physically and mentally.

To not think too much,

to feel worn out after work.

To get myself so tired that after i bathe and wash up, i'd fall asleep instantly.

at like what 8pm!?

To wake up in the middle of the night, with nothing to do but to sleep.

To protect me this way, wasn't what we promised.

You KNEW I had shout, to let it all out.

BUT I can't, others are sleeping, can't be inconsiderate.

You KNEW i needed my time alone,

What you gave me was peace at night with no one looking,

but with the presence of 5 bodies in the bunk with me.

YOU KNEW THAT THAT WASN'T WHAT I WAS LOOKING FOR!

I don't know i think my comfort zone is x4 or x5 of the normal people.

I don't like people near me, I hate public transport.

I hate coming in contact with unknown people.

The world is like 500000milion people screaming,

the noises that flows through your ear,

you don't need them.

Neither do they need you, they just happen to be there.

Maybe that's why ear piece was one of the greatest invention.

Once in my ear, it filters away the voices that I don't desire to hear.

Like a shield it creates a boundary from me and them.

Today during breakfast, Stanley said something to the whole of us eating at the table.

Daryl seems to always be in deep thoughts when he's eating.

The fact is, I'm always in deep thoughts,

I know I worry too much and I think too much.

But don't worry, I won't affect you guys with my thoughts

neither will I let you all know.

You all would probably think I'm crazy.

Another one of my friend told me this.

Friend: You are a long suffering man.

I know it's bad but you'd say that I'd grow to be a man that never gives up.

And that it's a good thing.

Why am I even writing this?

Understanding me,

Understanding you.

-Conscious to subconscious

or the other way round?